Fuck having a job.......
Fuck having a job, I HAVE A LIFE. I have a life, a life mission, AND a global mission of healing and transforming. TO DEAL. TO RELEASE. TO TRANSFORM. This work starts within. Within ME. Have your ever felt like you have all the choices in the world, AND also something greater than you has the wheel and a direction for you. I do. This feeling started when I was 8 years old and told my mom, " It stops with me. I am here to break the cycles and patterns in our family." See, my mom was the 5th generation, (that's as far back as we know) to be the victim of physical, mental, sexual, emotional abuse, immense self-suffering, early death..... the list goes on. I say 5th generation victim, because these 5 generation, or more, of women in my family chose to stay in that vibration. Chose to blame, fault someone, and do everything but take responsibility for their life and decisions. Maybe this healing mission was imprinted in my soul before I became an embryo, maybe I felt it in the womb, maybe seeing your dad try to kill your mom in front of you made me decide..... I don't know. I think it is probably all of that and more.
Wisdom comes from life experiences, successes, failures, relationships.....what about our life's mission? Our purpose? Maybe it comes to us before these experiences, maybe we have this wisdom within from the very beginning.
I have always been different. How I speak, How I live... everything about me. When I was younger this was very hard to navigate. I choose to try to conform, people please and do what I thought friends & family wanted me to do.
I got a job.
I didn't not have a life.
In my young 46 years on this planet, I have experienced. One would say I have had several lives in this body. Did what I was told was the right thing and path to do. Again, I got a job. A job of being a wife, a job of being a financial manager, a job of micro-managing, a job of connecting people... the list goes on. What I didn't have in all of these years, was a life.
In 2009, that all changed. I quit all of these job and started on a mission of inner self discovery. Except, I didn't intentionally know I was doing this. What I did know what I was doing was choosing what I wanted. That had never happened before this time. Before, I took care of everyone else, but me. What I started to do was have a life.
I started to have a life where the rules no longer mattered to me. Societal rules. I started to make money in a field that my heart had a calling for. Animals. I started taking more classes that were self introspective and outside of modern society's box. I experimented the shit out of life and didn't feel like I had a job anymore. I had gotten a life.
Having a life lead me closer to myself, my soul, my mission, my purpose. To take an uncharted course to a country, Costa Rica, I have never been to or know the language. At first, I decided life there was all unicorns & rainbows, until my inner voice reminded me that there is no utopia and that you have a life, a real life, to connect, to heal and to transform. TO DEAL. TO RELEASE. TO TRANSFORM my own shit. This is what I did.
THIS IS WHAT I CHOOSE TO DO. STILL.
Now, I am back in modern society.... there will be a whole book on the acclimation process. That shit is real. Now I have the opportunity to do me for the first time here. To be an example to myself and to others. TO HAVE A LIFE.
Guess what??? That shit is not easy. Most people whom I love still tell me to GET A JOB. Guess what muthaaa fuckas, I HAVE A LIFE.... and a life mission to share my experiences of TRANSFORMING my own shit, so that people can TRANSFORM their own shit.
I believe that there are many truths. That there is not just one absolute. That is why I have chosen to learn multiple modalities of healing, to experiment the shit out of life, and then take my intuitive guidance to facilitate this to the peoples.
Especially women. To let you know that you are not alone. That if you have traumas, abuse, life circumstances that imprinted deeply within, You can heal. I am an example of this, and continue to be. You can deal with each of them, heal, and transform yourself into whomever it is, and how ever it is you want to show up in this world. You can show up Authentically in the moments.
Sometimes We forget that. Most time we feel we are alone. We get into our heads and thoughts. You are not alone. I see you. I hear you. I AM YOU...... because I don't have a fucking job. I have a life. I have a life and global mission. I stay the course, for myself and for you. To share with you. To collaborate healing with different modalities with you.
I want you to have a life, not just a fucking job.